How Motherhood Transforms You with Rebecca Wong
For most breastfeeding mamas, a tank top and a nursing bra are staples in their wardrobe… but when the seasons change and the winter air proves too chilly for sleeping in spaghetti straps, what is a breastfeeding mom to do?
Rebecca Wong, co-founder of daisypops, was nursing her daughter on a cold winter night when she was inspired to create “The Original Breastfeeding Sleep Shirt”.
She was wearing her husband’s t-shirt for warmth and completely annoyed by the juggling act needed to provide breastfeeding access to baby. In her search to find something warm enough for sleeping, cool enough for when baby is snuggled close, and easily accessible (aka, no buttons to figure out in the middle of the night)—she found nothing!
Motherhood can transform you into the best version of yourself.
Rebecca is mama to two daughters, Daisy Rae (7) and Penelope (2.5). She embraces motherhood with everything she has, and believes it has helped her grow into a better version of herself.
Her favorite thing about being a mother is the feeling she gets when she’s able to make everything better for her girls.
“When they’re sad, hurt, tired, or just simply need a Mommy-hug, I love that I can make their world right again. It’s a powerful feeling and not something that I take for granted. I did not receive this as a child and I am in awe that I am able to give it to my girls. It makes me feel very proud."
As her children grow older and need her differently—more in some ways, and less in other ways—she’s realized that is important to evolve with our children and allow them space to grow.
“Funny story: I am constantly encouraging my eldest to keep herself busy. I do this because of how attached she is to me at the hip, and I want her to learn how to occupy herself. The other day she was up in her room for a long time… and I found myself calling her, “Daisy, what are you doing up there? Come downstairs!” In that moment, realized I played a big role in her not letting go—I was reeling her in when she was letting go. Self-awareness is one of the biggest (and hardest) learning experiences motherhood has given me.”
Rebecca admits that one of the things she least enjoys about being a mom is when both of her girls need her at the same time, but in different ways. She feels torn about wanting to meeting their needs and not being able to. Navigating this world as a mom to two children can be as much of a discovery process as becoming a mom for the first time!
Motherhood influences everything about Rebecca’s work with daisypops. She enjoys demonstrating to her daughters, in action, the very things she is teaching them: honesty, being genuine, working hard, not taking shortcuts, accepting mistakes, apologizing, and not quitting. Rebecca aims to show her daughters, through her work, that “you don’t have to be the best, but you must do your best.”
When we talked about balancing work and motherhood, Rebecca claimed that she finds balance by accepting that she’s not always able to have balance. There are days where it’s just not possible to do everything, and she has learned to accept it. “Embrace life’s craziness, create a plan so you can feel ‘in control’, and then let life happen.”
Rebecca’s experience as a new mother
We asked Rebecca to think back to that time when she first became a mother. She told us about how scary it was for her. Her firstborn arrived two months early and spent 31 days in the NICU before being discharged.
Even though the NICU days are seven years behind her now, it still feels like yesterday to her. It was such a sad and scary time for me. Once her baby was discharged, she says she immediately fell into a beautiful groove of nurturing her with everything she had.
We asked Rebecca to tell us a little bit about her journey to finding herself again after the births of her girls, and we think her story is so relatable. She says the first step to finding yourself is to realize that you’re lost to begin with:
“I remember meandering my way through the work days and not feeling anything. I was numb to the world outside of caring for my daughter. After about two years, some inspiration came to me and I woke up. I woke up from this fog and realized that there was still more for me in this life. I started having visions again – visions of another career, one that would not take me away from my daughter. One that would fit into my life, rather than fitting my life around my career. It was liberating to feel those feelings again. I didn’t realize I was so lost until that moment.”
Rebecca is from Canada, where they are entitled to a one-year maternity leave (it’s since been increased to 18 months!), and she says she embraced the year with everything she had. She dreaded going back to work and leaving her daughter… “I believed I was the only one who could tie her shoes ‘just right’, you know?”
She went back to work for a year and a half and completely lost herself. “Numb to dreaming, numb to true happiness. I ate poorly, did not exercise, had poor skin and acne—my whole self suffered.”
She says the darkness began to lift when she learned that the company she was working for would be downsizing, along with her role.
“It poked holes in the fog… some light was finally coming in. I could see something other than the rush hour drive home. I started to dream again, I started to visualize what I could do once my job would end for good. I started to realize who I was, a new version of myself, a stronger version who still had more to offer."
"I felt light, there was a spring in my step, and I had energy again. It was amazing. From there the ball got rolling and I started to find ways to make my new path. Without the support from my husband I would not have been able to get this far – he is my silent warrior. He encouraged me to find myself, take a risk, and start a new path. Becoming a mom can be a sort of rebirth if you will. Motherhood changes you, and you can let it change you into the person you dreamed you could be.”
Rebecca’s advice to new moms:
“There will be hard days and there will be easy days,” Rebecca says.
On the hard days (and so many nights), she says you may left wondering how you’re going to make it through the next day. But you will... your little baby will smile at you and give you the strength to persevere. Mother Nature gives us the easy days to keep us going during the especially trying ones.
Rebecca also advises new moms to surround themselves with people that can (and will) support you. Don’t be too shy or proud to take help when offered. But keep your boundaries, too… you’ll need to make decisions based on what feels right for you and your baby NOT based on what so-and-so says. Follow your intuition and follow your baby’s lead. No one ever looks back and says, “I sure regret picking up my baby so much.”
Listen to all of the well-meaning advice and take from it what you can and leave the rest… without guilt! Keep it simple and do what works for you and baby.
Rebecca is offering Land of Mom readers 25% off their total purchase with promocode LOM25, through December 15th.
We love how willing Rebecca was to share her story with us. Being able to set healthy boundaries with family members is so important, but it isn’t easy.
If you want to connect with other moms who understand, join us in the Happy Mom Tribe on Facebook—a safe, JUDGEMENT FREE place to share your struggles with boundaries.